Minimalist Mom Essentials

Our Mountain Buggy Nano stroller at the Getty Museum in Los Angeles.

Material things are just things… for the most part. But in the case of your baby, their “stuff” is intertwined with their health and wellness. Everything that you utilize in baby’s daily routine impacts their wellbeing and development in some way, shape or form. Your approach to sourcing and purchasing your baby’s necessities can impact your own wellness, too. The process can either be stressful and daunting, causing a financial burden on your family, or it can be fun, exciting, and simple.

When I was pregnant, I felt a little overwhelmed by the task of shopping for my baby. With all the choices and products out there being aggressively marketed by a million different companies, it was hard (especially as a first-time parent), to figure out what I would really need. Looking back on the first few months, I can now safely say that I made solid decisions regarding baby items. I didn’t waste too much money, I didn’t get too much or too little, and most of what I purchased turned out to be useful and nice quality.

This is not just about what you need for your baby, but what you *don’t* need. Too much stuff or focus on material things can cause stress. The wrong items might be toxic or dangerous. The elaborate, fancy stuff might be a waste of money. My philosophy is this: purchase or source the minimal essentials at high quality. Like all other material goods, less clutter makes a nicer environment for all. When it comes to babies, you need a lot less than the corporate world would like you to think.

Your lifestyle and preferences could be very similar or very different from mine, which might impact whether or not my suggestions make any sense or will be useful to you. Please remember that this is how *I* went about things. It worked well for me, so I’m sharing it with you in hopes that it is helpful. My approach is definitely not the best way for everyone.

FIRST, HERE’S MY APPROACH TO FIGURING OUT BABY NEEDS

DO YOUR RESEARCH - Don’t just go into the store and start throwing things into your cart. Before you purchase anything for your baby, especially big ticket items, read product reviews online. There are endless resources for this. All individual products are reviewed on the websites that sell them. There are dozens of parent blogs, magazines, and youtube channels dedicated to this topic. More expensive does not necessarily mean higher quality. At the same time, the cheapest items are often cheap for a reason and might end up being a waste of money. Strike a balance.

Remember that THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS FOR A LIMITED BUDGET - Don’t be afraid to seek second hand items. Even if you are not on a limited budget, second hand sourcing is an excellent way to be environmentally friendly as you are utilizing a perfectly good item that might otherwise go in the trash. I actually didn’t learn about any of these great second hand sources until we had already bought everything we needed, but I have since found out that there are plenty of places where you can find gently used, high quality baby goods for a fraction of the price. This article talks all about it: https://www.babycenter.com/0_the-6-best-sites-and-apps-for-used-baby-gear_10415529.bc

Alo sleeping in the dock-a-tot.

SEEK ADVICE FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH SIMILAR LIFESTYLES -  Every parent does things differently. Your best bet is to ask advice from friends or family who do about the same amount of travel and outings as you do, and/or who run their home in similar ways. Some people are happy with handing their baby an iPad as early as possible. Others will do anything to keep an iPad out of their baby’s hands for as long as possible. Parenting styles are wildly different. Here’s a great example: while shopping for a stroller and carseat, I noticed that many are sold as travel systems (the carseat can be removed from the base and inserted directly into the stroller without taking baby out). I wondered if this was necessary. My sister advised us that she and her husband found that option to be really important because they live in frigid North Dakota weather and would not want to have to take their baby out of their blankies going in and out of the house every single day. I realized that since we live in Phoenix where it is warm, we wouldn’t have that same issue -- we’d be fine taking our baby out of the carseat any time of year without her being super bundled. We also knew that we would not be keeping our baby in the carseat for naps as some parents do. So, we got a totally separate type of stroller and carseat situation and it worked out just fine for us.

BUY AS FEW ITEMS AS POSSIBLE - Visualize the items that your grandparents, great grandparents, or even ancestors would have really “needed” for child rearing. I guarantee you won’t see a tipi full of clutter. In reality, your baby needs far fewer things than you probably think. A few blankets, clothing, food, some type of diaper, and your arms to carry them are the bare necessities. If you drive, a carseat is a safety requirement. The rest are conveniences. There are a few big ticket items that I considered buying and now am glad I didn’t, because I would never have used them, such as a pack-n-play and a bassinet.

A NURSERY IS NOT A “NEED” - I love seeing beautiful photos o fbaby nurseries online - a whole special room dedicated to their infant. It’s cute, but remember that it doesn’t necessarily make sense. The concept of a nursery at all is a very specific lifestyle choice that doesn’t vibe with my parenting style at all. A nursery is a separate area for your baby and all of their things. My philosophy is to keep baby as close as possible, with all of their things seamlessly integrated with mine and the rest of the household. Instead of a nursery, we dedicated a little “baby corner” in our room, where we kept her changing table, clothing, and bathing items. We never bought a crib because we practiced safe co-sleeping. I would definitely do the same thing with another baby next time around.

Medicines, an art print, and a cute little wolf to surround her corner.

WHEN IN DOUBT, WAIT IT OUT - There are some items that you know your baby will not need immediately, and you might be questioning whether you’ll eventually need it at all. A part of you will want to buy it to be prepared, “just incase,” but I urge you to resist the temptation. If your baby doesn’t need the item immediately, it can wait, and you may in fact never end up needing it. If you wait it out, you will save yourself a lot of money.

Walking around with Alo in the Tula baby carrier, which most babies can fit into through toddler years. I often used a baby carrier instead of a stroller.

NEXT, HERE ARE EXAMPLES OF HOW I WENT ABOUT CHOOSING MY BABY’S ESSENTIAL ITEMS, DIVIDED INTO CATEGORIES

Feeding - Breastmilk. Cost: $0.

Diapering - When it comes to diapers, I considered a few things. I did not want harsh chemicals on my baby’s sensitive skin, and I did not want to use anything made of plastic, like most of the mainstream brands. I considered using G-diapers or other cloth diapering systems. My midwife pointed out to me that since we live in the desert where water is in short supply, it’s just as environmentally friendly (if not more) to use biodegradable disposable diapers to cut down on loads of laundry. I was more than happy to have an excuse to not use cloth diapers, because they are a lot more work, especially for somebody like me whose baby poops a thousand times a day. More power to you if you go that route, though. At this point I have probably tried every single imaginable brand of diaper out there -- even the standard Huggies and Pampers, because I travel a lot and sometimes that’s the only choice. All in all, I haven’t actually noticed any stand-outs in terms of quality. My favorite diapers are Honest brand, mostly because of the cute designs if I’m honest. As far as wipes, we have learned the hard way that most brands contain chemicals that can cause stickiness and diaper rash. The only wipes I use on Alo are Water Wipes -- they are definitely the least harsh, and I love that they are unscented.

The perfect basket for diapers, which we still use. We bought it a Hopi basketmaker who we met at the Phoenix Indian Hospital during their arts market.

Carrying - When she still fit it, I absolutely loved carrying my baby in her wrap. I chose one by Solly Baby because I liked their color options and simplicity of design. When my daughter grew out of the wrap, I transitioned to a Tula baby carrier. I also got a ton of use out of that while she still fit in it. I absolutely loved carrying my baby around on walks, on errands, or just around the house, and she loved it too. If she still fit, we would definitely still be using those items.

I loved my Solly baby carrier, which worked from birth to 25 pounds.

Car seat - We decided that a car seat is one item that is worth splurging on, because often the more expensive seats are better quality. We also knew that we would be using it very often and wanted it to be comfortable and last long. We went with the Maxi Cosi Pria 70, which fits babies size 8 - 70 pounds. We took a gamble knowing that our baby might not be born at 8 pounds, but based on our family history (both Thosh and I were over 9 pounds at birth as are many babies in our family), we figured she would fit right away, and she did. After a few months, we took the newborn insert out of that carseat and she still fits in it. It looks nice, it’s sturdy, and it’s comfortable. We also ended up buying a cheap, lightweight car seat for travel, which has also been a good investment.

Stroller - Our lifestyle is minimal, travel-heavy, and active. Our first stroller was the Mountain Buggy Nano, which gets great ratings, is very compact, and has a sleek look (we love all black). When baby was tiny, we used the newborn cocoon we purchased with it. It was so cute. She still loves this stroller because she can hang her legs over the side. It is very lightweight but it is not cheap or rickety. However, the small wheels make it a little difficult to maneuver around rough ground, like grass and gravel, so we ended up buying another sturdier stroller with larger wheels. Again, we were looking for something functional but also nice looking with a simple design. We found the City Mini by Baby Jogger and we love it. I especially like using this stroller when I am alone with Alo because I can fold it up in one simple motion with one hand, which is key during airport security.

Clothing - A few people gave me a great piece of advice: do *not* buy any newborn size baby clothing. First of all, the newborn size is so teeny tiny that some babies never even fit into them (that was the case for Alo). The next size up, 0-3 months, leaves more room for growth. But remember that many people who give you gifts will give you size 0-3 months, so if you want to buy your baby clothes right away, you might want to start at size 6 months. Believe me, they grow into and out of it faster than you can imagine. Another tip: blowouts happen. They just do. If your baby is breastfed, they will leave massive bright yellow poop stains on anything you put them in, so don’t be heartbroken when it happens. Finally, baby clothing is one of those things that is sometimes worth spending a little extra on for the higher quality items, especially when they are super small and difficult to dress and undress because they are so delicate and squirmy at the same time. I love onesies from Kickee Pants and MilkBarn because they are extremely cute but also super stretchy, soft, and easy to get on-and-off. I also liked the muslin clothing from Aden + Anais because they soak up wetness and keep baby at a nice neutral temperature, just like a muslin blankie. I didn’t end up using baby mittens or hats very often because they wouldn’t stay on anyway, but some people use those items every day. In any case, you will be doing a lot of laundry the first few months, so get used to that idea and be sure to buy a gentle, unscented laundry soap.

Toys - Babies generally can’t see very well for the first few weeks, and they can’t hold things until about 3 or 4 months, so the short answer is that you do not need toys for your newborn baby, especially right away. By the time they do start expressing interest in playtime, they are often just as happy with a spatula or a half-filled water bottle than anything else. Toys are cute, but not a necessity. My favorite toy of Alo’s is her ledger art horse from the B. Yellowtail collection at Crate & Barrel. If there’s any entertainment item I would recommend right away, it’s books. Start these as early as possible. Alo loves board books and has been able to focus on them and enjoy them since I started them with her at 5 months. Music is also more important than toys for babies. Use your voice and instruments to entertain your little one. Overstimulation through electronics is not necessarily a good thing.

Blankies - If I had to choose one single item that I have used for Alo more than anything, it would be her muslin swaddle blankets. They are kind of expensive but totally worth it. I use them to swaddle, for nursing covers, to wipe up a mess in an emergency, for a little warmth, for a stroller cover, as a lightweight sun shield over the carseat or on the car windows, and pretty much anything else. They are breathable, soft, and very cute. Other blankets are useful too. When Alo was in my tummy I sewed a few blankies for her by hand, which was really fun and relaxing, and I really loved picking out the fabric. A few people gifted us some really nice wool baby blankets which have been useful for warm weather and playtime on the floor.

Diaper bag - FYI, (because I was confused about this at first), there really is no difference between a diaper bag and any other kind of bag, so if you have a tote or backpack that you already use and like, keep using it. Sometimes the diaper bags come with extra pockets and a changing mat, but there are other methods. I always used my own backpack or tote and never actually bought a diaper bag. You might consider keeping yours gender neutral so that your partner or husband feels comfortable carrying it around (trust me, you will want your partner to carry things for you).  I kept the inside of my bag organized by using several pouches and travel storage thinggies (for lack of a better term) from Herschel, because I love the look, the color options, and the functionality of them. I used a leather changing mat by Gathre which I really liked - slim, sleek, and could be folded up small to fit anywhere.

Products - Bathing and hygiene items are a personal choice, but I usually go with unscented, natural-as-possible items with no harsh ingredients. As far as a tub, You can find little baby bathtubs, but I usually just take a bath with my daughter because it feels safer holding her in my lap. We also love to give her a sink bath (bathroom sink when she was teeny tiny, kitchen sink now). The smaller area of a sink feels safer, and it’s also nice to not have to awkwardly lean over the big bathtub.

Adorable moccasins gifted by our friends Gina and Gerald.

Everything else - Other items that I haven’t mentioned yet that we have used a lot include the following:

1. BASKETS. We bought all of our baskets for odds-and-ends from Native artists and artisans rather than purchasing the cheap manufactured styles from big box stores.

2. CHANGING TABLE and changing pad. Not a “need,” but it has been really useful for storage, organization, and of course, diaper changing.

3. CRADLEBOARD - This is a culturally specific item that was very special to us. Alo loved to take long naps in her cradleboard as a newborn baby.

4. CLOSET ORGANIZERS - Since Alo shares a closet with me, I bought special organizers and hangers to keep her things neat.

5. HUMIDIFIER - If you live in a dry place like we do, a cool mist humidifier is good to have around.

6. DOCK-A-TOT - This thing was BEYOND helpful for us. It allows for safe co-sleeping and comfortable napping. I would absolutely recommend this item to anybody.

7. Moccasins. We were gifted several beautiful pairs. Consider ordering these from a Native artist rather than purchasing a mass-produced pair from a store.

CONCLUSION

I just want to add that this post has not been sponsored in any way shape or form by any brands or companies that I mentioned above. I’m offering honest advice! Hopefully it was useful to some of you. Remember - keep it MINIMAL!

The cutest onesie ever, a gift from my sisters McCall and Liz.

Tips for Traveling with Baby

Introducing Alo to the ocean at 4 months old. Photo by Siera Begaye. @sweetsib

We’re still relatively new parents, but if there’s one thing we can speak to on an expert level it is baby travel. In our daughter’s 9 months of life, she has already been on a few dozen flights and has rode along in her carseat for thousands of miles on the highway. From the most rural of reservations to the most crowded of cities, she has seen a lot. Travel is a part of our work, and she always comes with us because she is exclusively breastfed (and even if she weren’t, we’d miss her too much to leave her behind). While we absolutely love having her with us, there’s no doubt that traveling with a baby adds extra challenges to our trips. Here are some tips for making your travels with baby as smooth and simple as possible.

A stroll through Santa Monica, CA with our compact travel stroller.

• Adjust your mentality: BABY COMES FIRST - This is the most important tip. If you approach baby travel with the expectation that it will be the same as an adult-only trip, you will set yourself up for stress. If you get annoyed every time baby needs to stop to eat, needs a change, or wants a break from the carseat, you will be annoyed all the time. However, if you approach the whole thing with the mentality that baby comes first and you are happy to accommodate their needs, everything will be just fine.
  

• Factor in extra time for everything - Get to the airport extra early, plan for stops on long roadtrips, and don’t be surprised when a drive that normally takes 4 hours actually takes 6 or 7. Schedule your travel days with cushion time built in. Then, you will be able to stay on track, and will feel less rushed.
  
  

• Don’t go unless baby is ready. We didn’t start any airline travel with our baby until she was about 3 months old. We gave her some time to develop an immune system and to become accustomed to other people. You (and only you, as parents) will know when it’s safe for your little one to start seeing the world. The good thing about travel after this point is that exposure to different environments helps to continue the process of establishing strong immunity, and will make baby less likely to develop ailments in the future like frequent colds or seasonal allergies. It’s important to be sanitary but not overly germaphobic.
  

• Take care of your personal wellness - You need to be more alert, attentive, and energetic than ever as a parent, especially while handling all the logistics of baby travel. Be sure to eat real food that will not make you feel sluggish, stop for movement breaks, and take time to breathe and meditate. As with any other type of travel, this means avoiding fast food and coming prepared with healthy snacks from home or from the grocery store.

Arriving in Portland, OR ready to present at Nike World headquarters for the Native Fitness Month.

• Have smudge accessible for the trip. Starting off with a family smudge always helps set a healthy tone and will ensure a safe journey.

• Designate roles for each parent - When we travel, our method is pretty simple. Dad is responsible for the stroller, carseat, luggage, and most of the driving. Mom is responsible for baby’s clothes, toys, diapers, other necessities, and of course, feeding. When we know exactly what we’re responsible for, we don’t argue or fuss about who needs to be doing what.

• Be as minimal as possible. You don’t need to pack baby’s entire nursery! You will find that while you are on the road, the fewer belongings you have to keep track of, the more organized you will stay and the better you will feel. Until Alo was 6 months old, we never even brought a stroller with us anywhere (just the baby carrier) and we would wear her around. She’s too heavy now, so we do bring a stroller (we love our Mountain Buggy Nano), but most babies can be in a baby carrier until toddler years. Everything will depend on where you’re going and what you’ll be doing while there.

At the Portland, Oregon International Airport.

AIRLINE TIPS:

• Nurse/feed during take-off and landing (alleviates ear pain and helps baby fall asleep). Our baby loves the white noise sound of the airplane. I am always surprised at how quickly she falls asleep as soon as the plane starts moving.

• Baby can travel for free until two years old. Take advantage! This saves hundreds of dollars. Be sure to book your ticket with a “lap infant.”

• Don’t be nervous - baby feeds off your energy. If you keep yourself calm and relaxed, baby will follow.

• Ask to be seated together as a family during check-in. Most airlines will happily accommodate this request and move other passengers around.

• You can check a stroller and carseat for free.

• Not all airplanes have changing tables in the bathroom; those tiny bathrooms are uncomfortable places to change a baby anyway; and flight attendants are technically not supposed to allow you to change baby’s diaper on your lap. So, be sure to change your baby right before getting on the plane.

• If you fly a lot, buy a cheap, lightweight carseat that you use exclusively for airline travel. We found one for $80 and it has been more than worth it. We keep our bulkier, expensive carseat in the vehicle at home because we don’t want it to get damaged, and it’s really heavy.

• Focus on the advantages rather than the extra hassle - Often, airlines will accomodate your needs, allowing you to cut lines during security and boarding. Most airports now have family restrooms where you can chill out and nurse/change baby in privacy. Take advantage.

A brief stop for baby to eat and mama to stretch at a park off the highway in Haudenosaunee territory (upstate New York).

ROADTRIP TIPS:

• Often, highway rest stops are dirty and unsanitary. We always prefer changing baby in the car. Bring extra blankets or changing mats to set up a changing station in the backseat or tailgate.

• Find music that your baby enjoys.

• Plan scenic stops. We already know that you’re going to be stopping extra times, so you may as well make it fun. Look for parks, sights, and other outdoor areas along the way.

• Introduce baby to new places, plants and animals with intention. For example, when we brought Alo to the ocean for the first time, we made sure to talk to her about what she was seeing, sing to her while we were there, and make an offering/prayer to the water.  This is great for increasing their worldview and brain capacity. Its a proper spiritual introduction to all living things.
  

Thosh holding baby after a tailgate diaper change overlooking an epic mountainside view in Yosemite.

HUGE DISCLAIMER on Respect, Wellness, and Our Beliefs

Before we roll out the #wellforbaby series and other new content, we decided we should share a few important messages. This will give you a better idea about who we are, how we approach wellness, and what we believe in. Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

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OUR WELLNESS WORK COMES FROM A PLACE OF LOVE:

We are passionate about wellness because we have both experienced incredible, life-changing, positive things once we turned our energies and attention toward it. This is our life’s work because we simply want others to be well too. We recognize the need for wellness in this world and that we have a unique viewpoint to offer on the topic. We are simply sharing what we know in hopes that others can benefit from it in a good way. 

THERE SHOULD BE NO JUDGMENT IN WELLNESS:

We lead well, sober lifestyles and we encourage others to do the same. However, we recognize that wellness is a huge, challenging, difficult journey for all people, ourselves included. We have not always been perfect, we are not perfect now, and we never will be. Because we don’t focus on sharing the negative or traumatic elements of our personal stories, many people believe that we have never experienced any of these things, but that’s not the case. We say this because we want you to know that we actually do understand and relate to struggles you might be having. We know that most people face a great number of challenges to wellness including historical trauma, unhealthy relationships, socioeconomic disparities, lack of access to information, food deserts, addictions, lack of support networks, and more. We ask that YOU recognize this, too, and do not judge others who are on their wellness journey. Helping is good. Praying for others is good. Using your platform to offer information to others is good. But judging others is not necessary. 

In the context of our new #wellforbaby initiative, this is particularly relevant. Parents get judged a lot. Moms, particularly, get judged a lot. That's not what we're here to do. Just because some of our blogs will promote breastfeeding, for example, does not mean that we are looking down on those who use formula. Just because we promote natural birth, home births, and Indigenous midwifery does not mean that we are looking down on those who go different routes. (Perfect example: I really wanted to have a natural birth and I ended up with an emergency c-section. I still admire and promote natural birth, though!) Everybody has their reasons, everybody has the right to their own choices, and we respect that. We hope that you do too.

Rather than judge others’ choices, live your own life in the way that you believe is best, and allow yourself to be an example for others. That is a much more powerful way of promoting your ideas! 

 

WE DO NOT CLAIM TO KNOW EVERYTHING: 

All health and wellness information is controversial. All health and wellness information is up for debate. All health and wellness information can be interpreted in many different ways. We’re not asking you to agree with everything that we say or do. We are simply doing our best to offer advice and ideas on the methods that have worked for us. Most of the information we offer is based on a combination of research from Indigenous ancestral teachings, western science, and eastern medicine alike. We can’t promise that everything we say is the absolute truth or final answer (that’s simply not possible), but we can promise that we are well-read and well-researched, that we are always learning more, that we are actually living the lifestyle that we promote, and that a lot of what we say just might be useful to you.

If you adamantly disagree with any of the information that we offer, we encourage you to use your own platform to promote your own ideas. We all have that ability! Even though there are a lot of health experts out there who we wholeheartedly disagree with, for example, you will never find us making negative comments on their social media pages, because that is reactive and unproductive. Rather than criticize others, we choose to be proactive and utilize our own platform to promote what we believe in. We are so grateful to those of you who support us and benefit from our offerings!

WELLNESS IS INDIVIDUAL

We cannot emphasize enough how important it is to get to know your own body and your own needs when it comes to your health. There is no single wellness source out there who can teach you about yourself better than you can. Observe how you react to foods. Pay attention to the way that your muscles, ligaments and emotions react to movements and exercises. Understand where you need to make adjustments in your daily habits. Learn about any allergens or deficiencies you may have. Get to know your family history of illnesses. Choose what is best for you and your children based on your preferences and needs. Seek out the opinions of doctors, medicine people, and other health professionals who can cater advice specifically to you. This is a critical and ongoing step for all people who are looking to be well.

 

respect and wellness are interconnected:

Most Indigenous cultures promote certain sets of values and teachings that have been recognized and practiced by our people for centuries. An emphasis on respect is a common cultural thread that ties many of us together. While we are all doing our best to be better people and to make a better world, let’s not forget that we are all related and connected to the earth and one another, and we should all respect, love, and care for one another. At WELL FOR CULTURE, we try to approach everything from a proactive, positive, solutions-based perspective. It’s our way of showing respect to all who come in contact with our information. We’re here to help make people feel good. Love and respect are very important components of wellness which do not get mentioned often enough on typical American health and fitness sources, but they are always relevant. 

 

OUR PLATFORM IS YOUR PLATFORM:

Whenever we travel for workshops, we always remind folks that we welcome submissions to our blog and social media. If you have information you want to share about what your community is up to or what you have learned, let us know. There is an incredible wealth of Indigenous expertise out there just waiting to be shared that can have a hugely positive impact on our communities. Even though we always offer this, very few people take us up on it.  We can’t pay you or do the work for you, but we can support you by offering our digital space and audience.